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Thursday, July 24, 2008

FOUND: Period Panties in the Street

Sorry about Auto Play

I'm really sorry about that vlog (video blog) I made here that is coded to automatically start playing. Trust me, it causes me more pain than you since I probably visit this blog more than anyone else. I *hate* hearing my voice shouting, "HEY, EVERYBODY!!" and then struggling to find the pause button.

The thing of it is, I can't seem to figure out how to fix the code (if I can) without having to re-render and re-upload the entire thing. I know I *should* but I seriously can't justify the time it might take so I just promise I will try to make sure it doesn't do that on the next one (it's new software so still getting the hang of it). I actually *thought* I did do it properly (I would NEVER purposely set any noise to automatically play) but who knows. Better luck next time, and my sincere apologies for the intrusiveness of my voice.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

What Failure Looks Like: Exhibit B

As many of you know, we've been trying to get pregnant for over a year now which means that every time my period starts it's a reminder that I have failed to get pregnant.

bloody period panties

I took that picture of my cozy period panties with fresh new blood, pussy stains & hours old blood back in December after a particularly sad start (we'd hoped we'd conceived near Thanksgiving when I'm sure I ovulated; my period started after I'd been SO SURE I was pregnant and had spent time lovingly decorating our Christmas tree, thinking it would be the last Christmas we'd have without kids and looking forward to sharing a tree with them in the future.

After the initial disappointment, though, I remembered how much I love my period. It felt like my body was comforting me with warmth and color and proof that I'm alive and working properly inside. Cuddling up in bed with my period and two hot water bottles (one for my crampy abdomen and one for my feet) was the perfect treatment to feeling shitty about not being pregnant.

If I can't be pregnant, at least I can have my period. That's pretty nice.

Read more about how I feel about this on my (in)fertility blog with Exhibit A.

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