Bloody Trixie's Red Fetish Blog

Post-Orgasm Period Start (PICS)

2009-10-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

It took a few days longer for my period to start than usual (maybe because I'm on a new birth control pill) but when it did? It was awesome! I wrote about it at the very end of this post I made today about being in love with the smell of my pussy during my webcam show.

We just barely squeezed in a set of pictures between shows, chat and Delia needing to leave for a meeting, but I'm really glad we were both up for it (usually something else is going on or I just feel really tired and not sexy):

I'm not sure when I'll be able to post these or get to the backlog of requests for entrance to my collection; unfortunately I have too many projects (all that I love) and need to focus on the ones that will get us out of debt (I hope). In a way, I guess that means it was really unjustifiable for us to shoot any red stuff today, but I just try to do what I can, when I can. I wish I could do it all!

On top of just being busy, my flow is not what it used to be in my younger days; there's just not that much blood to shoot really juicy content in the first place. I don't miss having days of terrible cramps, but I do miss having a rich and luxurious heavier flow.

Bloody Barbecue & Photo Solicitation

2008-10-12T19:52:00.000-07:00

My period started just over a week ago (on October 4th) and behaved very oddly; no cramps AT ALL (I might have had five seconds-worth of sensation that made me think I might get cramps), no big chunks, a very slow start . . . and a weird color. Instead of being purple-red or brown-red, it was orange-red. Almost like barbecue sauce smeared on my panties (normally a more plum colored or blackberry syrup color on the not-totally-RED-red days).

I've never seen anything like it.

The only thing I can attribute this to is that I started taking iodine supplements a few weeks ago because I suspect I have a sluggish thyroid. I've not had time to research it thoroughly, but haven't found anything anywhere describing orange period blood as a side effect of taking extra iodine.

I really feel the need/desire to start soliciting more flow photos just to create a library of what women's menstrual fluid REALLY LOOKS LIKE instead of still relying on vague, subjective descriptions for us all to try to figure out what is normal as though we live in fucking prehistoric times. Actually, I'll bet women knew more about what other women's periods looked like in prehistoric times. Now we do such a good job of hiding it we have no fucking clue. Of course, if I did this I'd have to make sure people know how to set the white balance on their cameras otherwise it would do no good color-wise (though would still be useful in documenting the amounts, consistency, etc.).

Periods & Pain Sensitivity

2008-09-11T07:25:00.000-07:00

It's just an off-hand remark with a non-period pic, but Dacia's started right before she got work done on her tattoo and she thinks that's very bad timing.

I seriously believe that in preparation for your period, your blood thins. I don't know if I've ever read that being the case or not, but before my period starts my nose starts getting bloody (I don't get bloody noses, my boogers just get blood in them) and my gums are more likely to bleed. Maybe an increased susceptibility to bruising goes along with that?

Any women who've noticed something like that or anyone who can provide links backing this up (or directly refuting it) please comment. I also wonder if Dacia bled more while she was being needled or if it just HURT more.

FOUND: Period Panties in the Street

2008-07-24T18:06:00.000-07:00

You might enjoy reading this post I made about period-stained panties I found.

Sorry about Auto Play

2008-07-24T11:18:00.000-07:00

I'm really sorry about that vlog (video blog) I made here that is coded to automatically start playing. Trust me, it causes me more pain than you since I probably visit this blog more than anyone else. I *hate* hearing my voice shouting, "HEY, EVERYBODY!!" and then struggling to find the pause button.

The thing of it is, I can't seem to figure out how to fix the code (if I can) without having to re-render and re-upload the entire thing. I know I *should* but I seriously can't justify the time it might take so I just promise I will try to make sure it doesn't do that on the next one (it's new software so still getting the hang of it). I actually *thought* I did do it properly (I would NEVER purposely set any noise to automatically play) but who knows. Better luck next time, and my sincere apologies for the intrusiveness of my voice.

What Failure Looks Like: Exhibit B

2008-07-23T22:25:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, we've been trying to get pregnant for over a year now which means that every time my period starts it's a reminder that I have failed to get pregnant.

I took that picture of my cozy period panties with fresh new blood, pussy stains & hours old blood back in December after a particularly sad start (we'd hoped we'd conceived near Thanksgiving when I'm sure I ovulated; my period started after I'd been SO SURE I was pregnant and had spent time lovingly decorating our Christmas tree, thinking it would be the last Christmas we'd have without kids and looking forward to sharing a tree with them in the future.

After the initial disappointment, though, I remembered how much I love my period. It felt like my body was comforting me with warmth and color and proof that I'm alive and working properly inside. Cuddling up in bed with my period and two hot water bottles (one for my crampy abdomen and one for my feet) was the perfect treatment to feeling shitty about not being pregnant.

If I can't be pregnant, at least I can have my period. That's pretty nice.

Read more about how I feel about this on my (in)fertility blog with Exhibit A.

Hunky Dory

2008-05-22T20:07:00.000-07:00

It always chaps my hide when people refer to the flesh that comes out of women during their periods as "clots". Here's a look at what I'm talking about:

WARNING: if you are squeamish about flesh and blood, don't watch this video.

Click here to see one photo exhibiting a chunk with more clarity. To read more about what the flow is made of, click here.

Feminine Hygiene Song

2008-05-13T16:49:00.000-07:00

Here's a little ditty delivered via YouTube about ads for products aimed at cleaning up women's bodies: Feminine Hygiene Song.

Yes, it's totally offensive -- almost as offensive as the products mentioned and the way they're portrayed. For once the comments actually have a couple interesting viewpoints. I left a comment saying, "I can see how it's funny and it's not a comedian's job to be sensitive or politically correct, but as a woman watching it just adds insult to injury; not only do we have these fucked-up products and ads shoved in our faces, but we also have to put up with men expressing their disgust and contempt for our bodies and emotions."

While I consider the guy's delivery entertaining and mildly witty, on a personal level what I feel inside watching him sing and express that shit is pure venemous hatred. I think the REASON I feel hate is because the song itself is an ugly expression of hatred. That's part of effective comedy, I think: to get as many people in the room feeling that they're joined together in hating another group of people. Like, oh yeah! I can totally relate to your feelings of hatred and disgust! In this case, for women's apparently smelly, nasty cunts and our supposed delight in talking about them, buying special products to treat them, and shoving it all into grossed-out men's faces until they want to hurl.

Question: do you know how many women in this world are still washing grown men's shitstains out of their underwear and off the sheets with the men oblivious to the trail of feces they leave on everything? You won't see any commercials about it, but I know there are more women putting up with the human grossness and childish shamelessness/ignorance of men's bodies than there are men who wash our bloodstains out of our panties. And why do most women get yeast infections? Because of MEN and their dicks. Because of shame (I must scrub it and bathe it in perfume!). Because of ignorance, poor labeling and lack of options (glycerin/sugar in almost all popular lubricants). Seriously, watching this video gives me a deep desire to make men feel at least a small portion of the shame women have foisted upon them from every fucking corner. Not because I think people should feel ashamed of their bodies or bodily functions, but because you shouldn't get off scot free when you perpetuate and disseminate shame-bringing messages.

Of course I realize I know nothing about this comedian personally and understand that telling a joke is sometimes an experiment in perspective, not necessarily an accurate expression of personal opinion; he could be a really swell guy. Still, my immediate gut level reaction is hatred. I don't think it comes from nowhere; I think it's a natural defense mechanism when you hear someone snarling insults at you, making barfing sounds as a reaction to thoughts of your genitals and saying they don't want to hear about you and your ilk's experiences. Shut the fuck up and get a hysterectomy. Oh, I know he said the ads should get a hysterectomy, but I have heard a man talk about how cool he thought it was when his wife got cancer and had to have a radical hysterectomy at a relatively young age because then *he* didn't have to deal with her disgusting periods anymore! My apologies if I take offense when people act like our organs are disposable bits of rancid garbage only there for men's amusement or annoyance. If I sang a song about amputating peckers I don't think anyone would get a big chuckle out of it.

Seriously, you don't think we get sick of hearing about your dicks? Someone should point out that we hear more about your cocks around the clock than you hear about our "feminine needs". Give me a break, you're sick of hearing about our twats. If we talked about them HALF as much as you talk about your precious wieners it might then be a little excessive. Hell, if we talked about our twats half as much as YOU talk about our twats you might then have something to complain about. But we don't. So watch your own fucking mouths.

All ranting aside, on a rational level I understand why many men are nauseated by and afraid of women. All I have to say is that sometimes the feeling is mutual. If you are a man and that sentiment bothers you, complain to your fellow men to stick a sock in it next time you hear them ribbing each other good-naturedly over their last experience with "stinky fish taco", etc. They're the ones generating the ill will -- it's not coming at you guys out of nowhere. Men have a choice; they can stop being insulting shitheads or they can keep congratulating each other over their insulting jokes about our bodies and hormones and suffer our wrath in return. If you think it's all very funny, fine. But don't expect me or other women to giggle along with you like it's all perfectly harmless fun.

Cheerfully Padded

2008-03-30T23:58:00.000-07:00

We did manage to get a shoot in on the first day of my period after my cramps subsided, and I'm so glad because I *love* upskirts and I know that maxi pad fans will really like this gallery of 122 pictures:

I'm in love with the colors in these pictures, especially the luminous creamsicle upskirt shots that boost my mood just to look at them:

Pink Spots, Not Lines

2008-03-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

My period just started, all damp pink spots like barbie tears this time.

Here's the low-down on how I'm feeling about not being pregnant. Again. Still.

I am wearing a pad and picked out a pair of sheer mesh panties to do a shoot in, if we're feeling like it in a few hours.

Bad Cramps

2008-02-24T17:36:00.000-08:00

My period started this morning.

If you were watching me on my spycams today, you'd have seen me writhing in pain in my bed, doubled over on the toilet, rocking and shivering, and on all fours on the parlor floor moaning and shaking. It's been years since I had cramps that bad; I'd almost forgotten how horrid they could be.

I've been asked by guys who are fans of (or curious about) menstruation to describe what cramps are like. I don't know if I've ever tried to explain how period cramps feel, so now seems like a good time to do it with the memory fresh in my head and body.

When I was younger my period would usually start in the very early morning or middle of the night; I'd wake up to pain and feel even more bowled over by it due to lack of sleep. Fortunately, this bout today hit me well after I'd gotten a full eight hour dose of sleep. I didn't hurry to take pills this morning when I woke up with wet blood on my fingers (when a woman is asleep she often knows or dreams that her period is starting or something is going on between her legs; it's not unusual to paw at yourself before you're awake and get your hand all bloody); like I said, it's been a long time since I've had really bad cramps so I didn't feel I needed to hurry and stave them off by medicating right away.

I got up, peed, picked out a pair of see-through panties to wear with a pad in them (in case we wanted to shoot pad/period porn later). I filled up two hot water bottles to bring to bed with breakfast: one for my feet and one for my abdomen (the heat helps soothe the cramps). I boiled some water, brewed some tea, and smeared peanut-butter on toast. I crawled into bed to happily enjoy my period with all of my provisions, waiting until AFTER I'd eaten to take one single ibuprofen (not my period pill of choice, but I couldn't find my bottle of Aleve; regardless, I wasn't too worried about it). Those pills are all hard on your stomach so you're not supposed to take them on an empty stomach.

I started getting crampier and more uncomfortable as I rested in bed reading my book. Pretty soon I couldn't really concentrate on reading because I'd have to stop with each little squeeze of my uterus, rocking my legs back and forth and rubbing my hot water bottle on my belly. A lot of the motions I instinctively go through when I have cramps don't really do anything to alleviate pain, they just provide a distraction or come from a compulsion to MOVE since sitting still is difficult AND only gives you too much stillness to focus on the pain. Period cramps aren't like air bubbles or sharp pains that make you AFRAID to move; they are the kind of pain that make you want to rock or roll or even bounce. Cramps are contractions trying to expel the fluid and tissue from your uterus; when you feel something tightening inside you, you naturally seek to loosen it with motion. Movement really does help, if you can manage it. Your other instinct, though, to hold your breath during the tightening, is NOT so helpful. When I'm siezed by the pain of a contraction/period cramp, I suck in my breath sometimes with the shock of it and can't help holding it waiting for the squeezing to release. When it gets even worse, there is the panting, which leads to hyperventilation. I did a lot of that today and it sucked.

I think a lot of guys imagine period cramps are like really bad gastrointestinal distress. Being lactose intolerant and having been woken with my fair share of really nasty, painful squeezing bowels I can say they are not the same, though I'm sure they're among the more comparable painful sensations. I've actually been more scared by the pain of gastrointestinal problems, though; it is a sharper pain and less predictable than the waves of period cramps. Period cramps don't feel like something is going to burst or explode; they feel like you're being squeezed inside and ground down by a very steady, meaty, man's hand. It's like someone is making a fist and grinding his knuckles into your cervix and lower back; it's a very visceral steady wearing-down inside. As it goes on, I start to feel like my body is trying to squeeze my organs out of my vagina and ass, like everything will be turned to pulp and squeeze hideously out of my cunt and hang by ligaments down to my knees.

I've read fetish stories/fantasies of women who want to be fucked anally while they're menstruating. I can't speak for other women, but when I'm having bad cramps like today's, the thought of having my ass penetrated or even TOUCHED makes me want to shriek bloody murder (though I *have* masturbated when I had MILD cramps using a smaller-than-penis-sized anal toy and had really delightful results). Today I sat on the toilet, rocking and squeezing and dripping and peeing and SHITTING, eventually uncontrollably, and the pressure on my lower back and asshole was just a nasty feeling. Like the most annoying voice whining in your ears in a way that penetrates you until you want to vomit. Imagine a giant somehow being able to pinch a nerve in your butt along with your rectum and just roll it between his fingers. It's like that. On top of that, my labia feel swollen and PINCHED at the same time, like someone has clamped each of them between dull flat thumbs and big forefingers and is SQUEEZING them. Honestly, I could barely even wipe my ass because the friction and pressure against me was so intolerable; it already feels like there's pressing and prodding from the inside-out, so countering that with pressing and prodding from the outside-IN only intensifies the whining, pinching feeling. And when I say "pinch" it's not like the sharp, sudden squeezing of a tiny fold of skin when a friend notices you forget to wear something green on Saint Parick's Day, it's like having your whole thigh in a vise that's being slowly tightened. That's the kind of pinching I'm referring to. While I find pressure on my rear anathema during these cramps, I do like firmly cupping my pubic mound sometimes when I'm having cramps, laying my fingers flat against my labia. Holding it all together so it doesn't fall out (that's what it feels like).

I'm beginning to wonder if I feel my cramps more towards my posterior because I have a tipped uterus (instead of curling forwards towards my bellybutton, it stands straight up over my cervix/tips back towards my spine). Once I started thinking of that today is when I decided to get on all fours on the floor to try to take pressure off of my backside. I don't know if I was just done being crampy or if the additional pills I took finally started working, but after about fifteen minutes in that position alternated with a child's pose, I got total relief and fell fast asleep on the floor.

In terms of the severity of pain, I would put today's at a six or seven out of ten with ten being the highest/the point where anything beyond can't even be measured as an increase. While I got to the point where I was shivering and my neck, arms and hands were tingling (I'm assuming because I was hyperventilating), I could still think straight and realize there are all kinds of torments that are far worse than what I was experiencing. The fortunate part about it, too, is that I know what is causing the pain and that eventually it will stop. I would rather go through four more hours of today's period cramp torture, for example, than have another anxiety attack on an airplane. I would rather go through twenty-four hours of today's cramps than have a tooth pulled without anaesthesia (though 24 hours of today's cramps all in a row would probably be really unhealthy since I wouldn't be able to eat or sleep and would probably pass out and/or start vomiting).

There have been times, especially when I was younger, when I would actually *miss* my cramps when they abated. Today was not one of those times -- maybe I'm getting too old to "miss" pain -- but when you spend hours focusing all of your mental, physical, and emotional energy on experiencing pain, tolerating pain, and wondering how long it is going to last it can be like a spiritual experience where you're transcending the humdrum of everyday life and living on a totally different plane. You can't think about anything else. When that focusing pain is gone, you feel emptied out and lonely, almost as though you were having a great eye-opening conversation with a friend only to suddenly find the line go dead two hours later and when you call back, it says the number isn't even in service; I actually feel like I'm hearing dead air. I am someone who HATES pain and I do everything in my power to avoid experiencing it, so I kind of appreciate menstrual cramps because it's a wacky experience and they've given me the opportunity to understand just a little bit about what pain junkies get off on. Otherwise I would probably never find out. It really is true that pain can make you feel more alive and more aware of parts of your body/internal organs you'd otherwise ignore.

Next entry: my perspective on treating cramps with orgasms and other forms of pleasure.

Also, I would love to hear how other women describe their period cramps.

Started

2007-12-08T15:08:00.000-08:00

My period started today.

Not the happiest thing to feel/see/experience when I hoped I was pregnant, but after a good cry, some comforting from Delia, and eating some treats with hot tea, I'm okay.

I'd swear that my flow is heavier right off the bat than it has been in years, but who knows. I'm taking pictures of my spots, stains and leaks for a gallery and documentary purposes, and I have to admit that in spite of the disappointment, my body feels really good. A bit crampy, but nothing horrid. I feel warm and healthy and I can't help forgiving my womb and reminding myself to trust my body's wisdom.

I just put on a huge Kotex. For comfort as much as for absorption.

Glory Be!

2007-08-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

My period just started this morning.

Looks like Goddess Glory and I are flowing together; she describes her cramps and treatment of them HERE.

We're babysitting my nephew so I doubt we'll be able to shoot any content this time around, but I do have an hour-long webcam show scheduled tomorrow (Sunday, August 26th, noon Pacific Time) for members of my main site, TastyTrixie.com. If you can make it, you'll probably get to see me masturbating and menstruating at the same time towards the second half of the show. Members will want to go to the LIVE SHOWS page for access.

I did have some pretty strong cramps this morning, but they passed fairly quickly so I only had to endure about a half hour of grunt-worthy pain. I feel pretty splendid now, very warm and buzzy.

Surprise Tampon Cam!

2007-08-10T19:45:00.000-07:00

The other day while I browsed the voyeur cams on Rude, I spotted a tampon-insertion show IN PROGRESS!! It was a lucky accident, I am telling you, so I immediately captured a handful of screen shots to prove it REALLY HAPPENED:

It's too bad the girl doing it wasn't actually menstruating (she was fulfilling a private-show viewer's request) since I hate seeing tampons stuffed into a pussy with no fluid to absorb, but obviously she's an accommodating camgirl when she's being paid, plus she was really nice to those of us watching on her live house cam. You can search for her there under the name "CamGirlKitten".

Flow: Off the Pill

2007-07-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

I was concerned I'd have really bad cramps this month now that I'm off the pill; fortunately, that hasn't been the case. The cramps I did have Monday were very mild even though my flow is heavier than it was while I was on hormonal birth control (but still much less than when I was younger).

I've been looking forward to having a regular flow; it was usually very light while I was on the pill and with absolutely no chunks of tissue (what some people refer to as clots, even though they are NOT clots).

Maybe there's no medical reason to feel this way, but I felt like my pill periods were sort of weak and sickly. It's hard to describe, but since the flow was so light and the color sometimes more of a gloppy greyish-mauve the likes of which I've never seen on a normal period, I couldn't resist longing for a normal "healthy" period. And what, pray tell, do I imagine a "healthy" period looks like? Well, a lot more RED for one thing. From disturbingly bright and fresh red to dark tissue-laden dark red, to almost black-ish, to a swampy brownish color towards the end (that's how I've always referred to the less-red flow: swampy). On the pill, it was often like a nearly dried-up swamp after global warming.

Again, I have no "scientific" reason to think I was unhealthy while I was on the pill, especially when I know I was healthIER in some ways than I am off it, but I guess since I think of my uterus as a place meant to nurture new life, I want some kind of visible evidence that jives with that idea. Somehow a lackluster flow that's sometimes even a greyish pinkish mucous color doesn't seem as nurturing and healthy as a rich crimson flow with big hunks of flesh.

The off-pill flow seems to tell me I am really ALIVE inside and have plenty of extra juices and meat to go around. While I was on the pill I felt like that part of me was kind of dried up inside (even though my pussy was naturally more wet ON the pill than it is off the pill, and my body in general felt juicy and plump and happy as did my emotions).

I know it's totally silly, but I am kind of glad we didn't get pregnant last month before I had a chance to have this real period. Even if it makes absolutely no sense and a doctor would scoff at it, I just feel reassured by having a normal flow that I perceive as "healthy". I'm sure I'm prescribing meaning to my flow that it doesn't deserve, but seeing so much red in the toilet and hunks of my sloughed-off insides makes me feel like I have a good little nest inside me for a fetus. Seeing my flow this month makes me feel like everything is working right, and I wasn't so sure about that before. I was feeling old and dehydrated and I don't think that's how a mother-to-be should feel.

I guess I associate a heavier flow with youth and vitality, and a lighter flow with being old and somewhat feeble and less physically capable.

Not a Moment Too Soon

2007-07-23T21:58:00.001-07:00

My period (finally) started last night, and not a moment too soon. If my PMS had gone on any longer I'd have had to who-knows-what.

The timing of my period starting was kind of funny; I recently added a new weekly webcam chat session over here on Rude which I call News FLASH!. If you're a long time member of mine you already know how it works, but basically anyone who shares a current event in chat earns the privilege of requesting I "flash" a body part to them on cam. Boobs, ass, and pussy are the most-oft requested body parts so when my period started a half hour before the chat was due to start, I knew I'd also wind up flashing either a) blood or b) a tampon string.

Since I didn't feel like putting in a tampon so soon before bedtime (and I also wanted to observe my flow carefully since it's the first period I've had since going off the pill) I wound up flashing my pussy to the viewers in what first appeared to be a very tidy fashion. Until, that is, I started SQUEEZING my pussy muscles and forced out one beautiful red drop. I let it sit there for a minute before I smeared it onto my fingertip, inspected it visually, and then sucked my finger clean. The flavor was perfectly bloody without being overpowering (it was a very minute amount), just a nice taste of salty iron.

No one in the chatroom complained so I took that to be a good sign.

This MIGHT be my Last Period . . .

2007-06-12T15:10:00.001-07:00

So. Tucker/Delia and I decided we want to have a baby so I took my last pill on Saturday night. My period started today so if we manage to get pregnant this month, it will be my last period for a long time. If we *don't* get pregnant right away, I'll have a heavier flow by not being on the pill and will be able to shoot bloodier content.

You win some, you lose some . . . You can keep up to date with the pregnancy "thing" here: FertileTrixie.com. There is a blog there which I'll keep focused on pregnancy-related topics and an option to sign up for my fertility and pregnancy focused newsletter.

*****

For those of you who are interested, I thought my period was going to start while we were at the gym this morning. I started cramping up as soon as we got there, but I didn't want to cut our workout short so even though I didn't have any pads or tampons, I kept exercising and going to the bathroom often to make sure I wasn't about to bleed through my light pink crotch-hugging yoga pants. I know I should have been more prepared, but it's virtually impossible for me to remember *everything* I need to pack for the gym. Fortunately, the gym provides a little basket with emergency supplies; the only things in it today were three fairly thick disposable pads so I'm glad I didn't have to use one since a) I'd have had an obvious pad bulge in my pads, and b) I don't really like using disposables.

*****

Those of you who are fans of the members-only area may be wondering when I'll be showing off the period stuff I've been shooting; it's definitely still on my to-do list to re-open and post fresh stuff, but our other sites are / have been more important so BloodyTrixie gets put on the back burner. I know I tell you this all the time, but it's important people realize that it's not simply that I'm too busy to devote time to BT, it's also that I'm loathe to put energy into a website that credit card companies discriminate against with policies restricting the depiction of menstrual fluid. It's a free speech issue, a gender issue, and an issue of corporate discrimination that chaps my bloody hide and SHOULD chap yours, too.

Accidental Period Clip

2007-05-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I am not even looking for period content but keep happening across it by accident (virtually the only way to find it since it's such a big taboo).

Here's another Clips4Sale store I found with a gorgeous chick named Elektra with beautiful big boobs. Here's the clip description:

THIS SUPER SEXY VIDEO HAS A LOT OF NIPPLE SUCKING, ASS LICKING, AND LOTS OF FUCKING WITH A GREAT CUMSHOT AT THE END!!! WHILE MAKING THIS VIDEO ELEKTRA GOT HER PERIOD. YOU CAN TELL TOWARDS THE END!!!

I haven't bought the clip so I don't know how much red it actually contains, but judging from the fact that it's one of her top five selling clips out of hundreds, people must like it and I'm guessing the rare glimpse of period is one of the reasons why. The title of the clip is "1ST SUCK MY NIPPLES AND ASS --- THEN I'LL SIT ON YOUR HARD COCK".

A Pee Video with Tampon Insertion

2007-05-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

I was browsing Clips4Sale and found this store which has a 15 minute getting-ready type of video which includes pantyhose, peeing and tampon insertion. The name of the video clip is "After Work Meeting".

Although blood is off-limits at Clips4Sale, it seems they used to have a tampon category which is still visible to store owners, but not in the list of categories viewable to surfers. It seems like tampons are one of those grey areas that the payment processors will turn a blind eye to even if it's a period reference AS LONG AS you don't show any red fluid. On the one hand, it only makes sense to be able to show tampons in a pussy considering that everything else is legit to stick up there in porn (except for all five fingers), but on the other hand it bugs me to see tampons used in what often appear to be dry pussy. That's really not cool, and once again shows that none of these bizarre and ridiculous obscenity standards have a damned thing to do with what is healthy or normal.

Horniest Part of my Cycle

2007-05-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

People (ahem, men) are often curious what part of women's cycles leave us the horniest. It seems to vary from one woman to the next, but I tend to be horniest right BEFORE my period, when I have pre-menstrual syndrome.

When I have PMS I often find myself in a very agitated and angry state of arousal. If I get too stimulated and aroused at this point, I truly get the feeling that I will FREAK OUT if I do not have an orgasm. It's the time of the month when I feel the most like rough sex, and I don't mean that *I* want to be treated roughly, but that I want to treat my lover roughly.

Now that I'm on the pill my "cycle" is pretty much nonexistent since the pill regulates your hormones so there aren't real cyclical fluctuations. As a result, I don't notice a real difference from one week to the next. During the "off" week when I'm flowing and not taking any pills, I do seem to initiate sex more often, usually after the first couple of days when I'm not really flowing. Then when we fuck I start bleeding again, often a bright red. I wonder what kind of chemical reaction my boyfriend's semen has inside me with my menstrual fluid and if that is what causes the blood to look so "fresh" and almost koolaid colored? Other times, if I really am at the end of my period days the combination of his cum and my scanty residual uterine debris is really gross looking with a few blobs of beige floating in a limpid puddle of spooge.

Have a Happy Period?

2007-03-23T20:30:00.000-07:00

Hmmm . . . I've mixed feelings about this jokey rant:

An open letter written to the brand manager of Proctor andGamble - (Maker of Always Maxi Pads)

While I agree that the people marketing fem. products are off their rockers and deserve to be set straight, I really think the person who wrote this rant is a man trying to impress a woman, but doing a damned poor job of it; MENSTRUATION should not be confused with PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME.

All of those violent symptoms, mood swings, and bloating are things women experience BEFORE their periods start, and for me and every woman I've ever known, they pretty much disappear when our periods begin (making way for the cramps and sometimes fatigue).

It actually *is* possible to have a happy period. Most people who have bad PMS *do* have happy periods because they are relieved of all those bad PMS symptoms. It's a relief. A lot of us also use our periods as excuses to baby ourselves. We wear stained panties, lay in bed with our hot water bottles, permit ourselves extra sleep, and treat ourselves to red meat and spinach to replenish our iron stores. While I've had many painful periods, I don't know that they've ever been "unhappy".

Spring Period

2007-03-22T20:30:00.001-07:00

I started flowing on Wednesday (the 21st) a day earlier than I expected; the orgasmic masturbation session I had that afternoon with my new eroscillator I got for my 34th birthday must have kicked out the jams in my uterus. I also wound up with more painful cramps than I've had in quite awhile.

This week has been great, but sort of long and exhausting. We had family over for a number of days; I only had a handful of hours between their departure and the arrival of my period. My muscles are sore from dancing and lifting/carrying my nine month old nephew. I've been dizzy all day. I'm definitely in hermit mode and don't want to see or talk to anyone besides Tucker.

I could really use a massage. This is not a lament because I actually could get one whenever I want since I have three massages paid for (one was a birthday present from when I turned 33 and I still haven't used it). When you're poor (or semi-poor, or even just vividly REMEMBER being poor at one time) you save things that are meant to be used, fearing that to use them is to squander or destroy them. So I think I've been saving this massage gift certificate waiting for the perfect time, feeling like since I can't get massages regularly I should make sure I don't get one when I'm *totally* gimped up. No, I should stretch for a week beforehand so the procedure isn't totally in vain!

This week I realized I really should treat myself since I've been sitting on this gift for a year, but I hesitated to schedule an appointment knowing I'd be having my period and maybe not feeling like having someone pushing on my lower back. And then next week I don't want to schedule a massage because we have a shoot (and tons of work to catch up on) and I know it will just throw everything right back out of wack when I start posing in heels and stuff.

Wax on, Wax off

2007-03-04T21:56:00.000-08:00

Oooh! I just checked my stats and noticed that THE Jamye Waxman mentioned BloodyTrixie!

Before you click, ask yourself, do I like blood with my porn? If the answer is no, then my best advice is don't go here. I haven't paid to see more pics btw, just been mesmerized by her home page - in other words, I know nothing more about the site. However, it has made me think about my relationship with blood and sex and how, although having my period hasn't stopped me from having sex, how I've thought about things differently during that time of the month, and how maybe I shouldn't (think differently about being sexy when I'm bleeding). Because menstruating is a natural, beautiful, feminine thing.

Just like me.

Flow of Information

2007-03-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

While my mom was visiting I asked her if her flow decreased as she got older, and she said yes, for sure. Part of why I asked was to see if her experience was different at my age as a woman who'd given birth already (compared to me, since I haven't had kids).

Most of the women I've talked to in their thirties and forties complain of a heavier flow than when they were younger, and I'd wondered if it was because of having kids, but apparently not. I know fibroid tumours, etc. are pretty common so maybe that's why they have heavy flows. I don't know.

My mom also said that she misses having her period now that she's gone through menopause. She said she misses the release and letting go, and that it always felt like a relief. She said that menopause was like constant PMS.

Apparently my great-great-grandmother (on my mom's dad's mom's side) killed herself in her fifties, perhaps because menopause sucked so fucking hard for her.

I don't know if people realize the enormous impact of hormones on our state of mind. For all of the PMDD commercials on television I still get the feeling most people think it's some kind of a joke or something a few women exaggerate. It's really dangerous, I think, to dismiss the violent impulses we can feel when our hormones are fluctuating or fucked up. There have been times I think I'd have seriously thought about killing myself if I hadn't realized what was going on: hormones. So instead of SERIOUSLY thinking about it, I just CASUALLY thought about it and tried to console myself that the way I felt was only temporary (until the next month, of course).

I wonder why, as I've gotten older, my flow has decreased, but my PMS has gotten worse. Oh well, I'm thankful for birth control pills evening me out because I don't know if I could have taken much more of that crap.

Only twenty years (approximately) to go before I have to deal with menopause. I hope by then they'll have figured out a safe hormone cocktail for us to take.

Kayla & Strangers in the Fem. Aisle

2007-03-04T09:43:00.001-08:00

Here's a little grocery store story from Kayla.