Have a Happy Period?

Hmmm . . . I've mixed feelings about this jokey rant:

An open letter written to the brand manager of Proctor andGamble - (Maker of Always Maxi Pads)

While I agree that the people marketing fem. products are off their rockers and deserve to be set straight, I really think the person who wrote this rant is a man trying to impress a woman, but doing a damned poor job of it; MENSTRUATION should not be confused with PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME.

All of those violent symptoms, mood swings, and bloating are things women experience BEFORE their periods start, and for me and every woman I've ever known, they pretty much disappear when our periods begin (making way for the cramps and sometimes fatigue).

It actually *is* possible to have a happy period. Most people who have bad PMS *do* have happy periods because they are relieved of all those bad PMS symptoms. It's a relief. A lot of us also use our periods as excuses to baby ourselves. We wear stained panties, lay in bed with our hot water bottles, permit ourselves extra sleep, and treat ourselves to red meat and spinach to replenish our iron stores. While I've had many painful periods, I don't know that they've ever been "unhappy".

Spring Period

I started flowing on Wednesday (the 21st) a day earlier than I expected; the orgasmic masturbation session I had that afternoon with my new eroscillator I got for my 34th birthday must have kicked out the jams in my uterus. I also wound up with more painful cramps than I've had in quite awhile.

This week has been great, but sort of long and exhausting. We had family over for a number of days; I only had a handful of hours between their departure and the arrival of my period. My muscles are sore from dancing and lifting/carrying my nine month old nephew. I've been dizzy all day. I'm definitely in hermit mode and don't want to see or talk to anyone besides Tucker.

I could really use a massage. This is not a lament because I actually could get one whenever I want since I have three massages paid for (one was a birthday present from when I turned 33 and I still haven't used it). When you're poor (or semi-poor, or even just vividly REMEMBER being poor at one time) you save things that are meant to be used, fearing that to use them is to squander or destroy them. So I think I've been saving this massage gift certificate waiting for the perfect time, feeling like since I can't get massages regularly I should make sure I don't get one when I'm *totally* gimped up. No, I should stretch for a week beforehand so the procedure isn't totally in vain!

This week I realized I really should treat myself since I've been sitting on this gift for a year, but I hesitated to schedule an appointment knowing I'd be having my period and maybe not feeling like having someone pushing on my lower back. And then next week I don't want to schedule a massage because we have a shoot (and tons of work to catch up on) and I know it will just throw everything right back out of wack when I start posing in heels and stuff.

Wax on, Wax off

Oooh! I just checked my stats and noticed that THE Jamye Waxman mentioned BloodyTrixie!

Before you click, ask yourself, do I like blood with my porn? If the answer is no, then my best advice is don't go here. I haven't paid to see more pics btw, just been mesmerized by her home page - in other words, I know nothing more about the site. However, it has made me think about my relationship with blood and sex and how, although having my period hasn't stopped me from having sex, how I've thought about things differently during that time of the month, and how maybe I shouldn't (think differently about being sexy when I'm bleeding). Because menstruating is a natural, beautiful, feminine thing.

Just like me.

Flow of Information

While my mom was visiting I asked her if her flow decreased as she got older, and she said yes, for sure. Part of why I asked was to see if her experience was different at my age as a woman who'd given birth already (compared to me, since I haven't had kids).

Most of the women I've talked to in their thirties and forties complain of a heavier flow than when they were younger, and I'd wondered if it was because of having kids, but apparently not. I know fibroid tumours, etc. are pretty common so maybe that's why they have heavy flows. I don't know.

My mom also said that she misses having her period now that she's gone through menopause. She said she misses the release and letting go, and that it always felt like a relief. She said that menopause was like constant PMS.

Apparently my great-great-grandmother (on my mom's dad's mom's side) killed herself in her fifties, perhaps because menopause sucked so fucking hard for her.

I don't know if people realize the enormous impact of hormones on our state of mind. For all of the PMDD commercials on television I still get the feeling most people think it's some kind of a joke or something a few women exaggerate. It's really dangerous, I think, to dismiss the violent impulses we can feel when our hormones are fluctuating or fucked up. There have been times I think I'd have seriously thought about killing myself if I hadn't realized what was going on: hormones. So instead of SERIOUSLY thinking about it, I just CASUALLY thought about it and tried to console myself that the way I felt was only temporary (until the next month, of course).

I wonder why, as I've gotten older, my flow has decreased, but my PMS has gotten worse. Oh well, I'm thankful for birth control pills evening me out because I don't know if I could have taken much more of that crap.

Only twenty years (approximately) to go before I have to deal with menopause. I hope by then they'll have figured out a safe hormone cocktail for us to take.

Kayla & Strangers in the Fem. Aisle

Here's a little grocery store story from Kayla.