WARNING: This blog is for ADULTS ONLY. Not work safe. Links to ADULT content.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Flow: Off the Pill

I was concerned I'd have really bad cramps this month now that I'm off the pill; fortunately, that hasn't been the case. The cramps I did have Monday were very mild even though my flow is heavier than it was while I was on hormonal birth control (but still much less than when I was younger).

I've been looking forward to having a regular flow; it was usually very light while I was on the pill and with absolutely no chunks of tissue (what some people refer to as clots, even though they are NOT clots).

Maybe there's no medical reason to feel this way, but I felt like my pill periods were sort of weak and sickly. It's hard to describe, but since the flow was so light and the color sometimes more of a gloppy greyish-mauve the likes of which I've never seen on a normal period, I couldn't resist longing for a normal "healthy" period. And what, pray tell, do I imagine a "healthy" period looks like? Well, a lot more RED for one thing. From disturbingly bright and fresh red to dark tissue-laden dark red, to almost black-ish, to a swampy brownish color towards the end (that's how I've always referred to the less-red flow: swampy). On the pill, it was often like a nearly dried-up swamp after global warming.

Again, I have no "scientific" reason to think I was unhealthy while I was on the pill, especially when I know I was healthIER in some ways than I am off it, but I guess since I think of my uterus as a place meant to nurture new life, I want some kind of visible evidence that jives with that idea. Somehow a lackluster flow that's sometimes even a greyish pinkish mucous color doesn't seem as nurturing and healthy as a rich crimson flow with big hunks of flesh.

The off-pill flow seems to tell me I am really ALIVE inside and have plenty of extra juices and meat to go around. While I was on the pill I felt like that part of me was kind of dried up inside (even though my pussy was naturally more wet ON the pill than it is off the pill, and my body in general felt juicy and plump and happy as did my emotions).

I know it's totally silly, but I am kind of glad we didn't get pregnant last month before I had a chance to have this real period. Even if it makes absolutely no sense and a doctor would scoff at it, I just feel reassured by having a normal flow that I perceive as "healthy". I'm sure I'm prescribing meaning to my flow that it doesn't deserve, but seeing so much red in the toilet and hunks of my sloughed-off insides makes me feel like I have a good little nest inside me for a fetus. Seeing my flow this month makes me feel like everything is working right, and I wasn't so sure about that before. I was feeling old and dehydrated and I don't think that's how a mother-to-be should feel.

I guess I associate a heavier flow with youth and vitality, and a lighter flow with being old and somewhat feeble and less physically capable.

Labels: , , , , ,

Monday, July 23, 2007

Not a Moment Too Soon

My period (finally) started last night, and not a moment too soon. If my PMS had gone on any longer I'd have had to who-knows-what.

The timing of my period starting was kind of funny; I recently added a new weekly webcam chat session over here on Rude which I call News FLASH!. If you're a long time member of mine you already know how it works, but basically anyone who shares a current event in chat earns the privilege of requesting I "flash" a body part to them on cam. Boobs, ass, and pussy are the most-oft requested body parts so when my period started a half hour before the chat was due to start, I knew I'd also wind up flashing either a) blood or b) a tampon string.

Since I didn't feel like putting in a tampon so soon before bedtime (and I also wanted to observe my flow carefully since it's the first period I've had since going off the pill) I wound up flashing my pussy to the viewers in what first appeared to be a very tidy fashion. Until, that is, I started SQUEEZING my pussy muscles and forced out one beautiful red drop. I let it sit there for a minute before I smeared it onto my fingertip, inspected it visually, and then sucked my finger clean. The flavor was perfectly bloody without being overpowering (it was a very minute amount), just a nice taste of salty iron.

No one in the chatroom complained so I took that to be a good sign.

Labels: , , , ,