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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Feminine Hygiene Song

Here's a little ditty delivered via YouTube about ads for products aimed at cleaning up women's bodies: Feminine Hygiene Song.

Yes, it's totally offensive -- almost as offensive as the products mentioned and the way they're portrayed. For once the comments actually have a couple interesting viewpoints. I left a comment saying, "I can see how it's funny and it's not a comedian's job to be sensitive or politically correct, but as a woman watching it just adds insult to injury; not only do we have these fucked-up products and ads shoved in our faces, but we also have to put up with men expressing their disgust and contempt for our bodies and emotions."

While I consider the guy's delivery entertaining and mildly witty, on a personal level what I feel inside watching him sing and express that shit is pure venemous hatred. I think the REASON I feel hate is because the song itself is an ugly expression of hatred. That's part of effective comedy, I think: to get as many people in the room feeling that they're joined together in hating another group of people. Like, oh yeah! I can totally relate to your feelings of hatred and disgust! In this case, for women's apparently smelly, nasty cunts and our supposed delight in talking about them, buying special products to treat them, and shoving it all into grossed-out men's faces until they want to hurl.

Question: do you know how many women in this world are still washing grown men's shitstains out of their underwear and off the sheets with the men oblivious to the trail of feces they leave on everything? You won't see any commercials about it, but I know there are more women putting up with the human grossness and childish shamelessness/ignorance of men's bodies than there are men who wash our bloodstains out of our panties. And why do most women get yeast infections? Because of MEN and their dicks. Because of shame (I must scrub it and bathe it in perfume!). Because of ignorance, poor labeling and lack of options (glycerin/sugar in almost all popular lubricants). Seriously, watching this video gives me a deep desire to make men feel at least a small portion of the shame women have foisted upon them from every fucking corner. Not because I think people should feel ashamed of their bodies or bodily functions, but because you shouldn't get off scot free when you perpetuate and disseminate shame-bringing messages.

Of course I realize I know nothing about this comedian personally and understand that telling a joke is sometimes an experiment in perspective, not necessarily an accurate expression of personal opinion; he could be a really swell guy. Still, my immediate gut level reaction is hatred. I don't think it comes from nowhere; I think it's a natural defense mechanism when you hear someone snarling insults at you, making barfing sounds as a reaction to thoughts of your genitals and saying they don't want to hear about you and your ilk's experiences. Shut the fuck up and get a hysterectomy. Oh, I know he said the ads should get a hysterectomy, but I have heard a man talk about how cool he thought it was when his wife got cancer and had to have a radical hysterectomy at a relatively young age because then *he* didn't have to deal with her disgusting periods anymore! My apologies if I take offense when people act like our organs are disposable bits of rancid garbage only there for men's amusement or annoyance. If I sang a song about amputating peckers I don't think anyone would get a big chuckle out of it.

Seriously, you don't think we get sick of hearing about your dicks? Someone should point out that we hear more about your cocks around the clock than you hear about our "feminine needs". Give me a break, you're sick of hearing about our twats. If we talked about them HALF as much as you talk about your precious wieners it might then be a little excessive. Hell, if we talked about our twats half as much as YOU talk about our twats you might then have something to complain about. But we don't. So watch your own fucking mouths.

All ranting aside, on a rational level I understand why many men are nauseated by and afraid of women. All I have to say is that sometimes the feeling is mutual. If you are a man and that sentiment bothers you, complain to your fellow men to stick a sock in it next time you hear them ribbing each other good-naturedly over their last experience with "stinky fish taco", etc. They're the ones generating the ill will -- it's not coming at you guys out of nowhere. Men have a choice; they can stop being insulting shitheads or they can keep congratulating each other over their insulting jokes about our bodies and hormones and suffer our wrath in return. If you think it's all very funny, fine. But don't expect me or other women to giggle along with you like it's all perfectly harmless fun.

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