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Thursday, July 28, 2005

Mystery Product = Mystery Itching

Don't you just LOVE (not) this headline? Fresh idea: Teens enjoy witty campaign for mystery product:
To promote their new scented cardboard applicator tampon, the company opted for a little mystery and humor with a scratch and sniff sample in its magazine ad campaign. . . . While this approach adds a little humor to the topic, it also treats the subject with modesty.
For those of you who don't know, perfumed and scented products cause vaginal/vulvar itching and yeast infections. THIS IS NOT PLEASANT. It's not humorous . . . and it's this type of "modesty" that gets our cunts into trouble. "Oh look at our cute veiled references to menstruation and the cute pink ways we can mask the disgusting smell we so modestly wish to hide . . . by sticking perfumed products into our cunts so we can be ravaged by painful infections!" Try being modest when you have a yeast infection and feel like shoving your hands down your pants and scratching your labia off, okay?

More juicy stupid quotes:
Dr. Jacqueline Olds, a gynecologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, said ads like this can help ease the awkwardness of discussing menstruation.
Well, if you think discussing menstruation is awkward, try having a discussion about cheesy discharge and itching so bad you can't sleep at night. That's awkward for you.

Oh god, the stupidity just goes on and on:
The older generation winces because it seems so embarrassing. It might take it out of the closet . . . so people can talk about it and laugh about it,'' Olds said.
Again, I dare you to laugh about a yeast infection when you have one. This kind of rationale is so fucking sick to me when it's not just the use of mysterious products we need to take out of the closet, it's MENSTRUATION IN GENERAL. It's GENITAL AND SEXUAL HEALTH. And veiled references to covering up menstrual pussy-stench with a product that is BAD FOR YOU really isn't a step forward, lady. Why don't you try taking our cunts out of the closet and let teenagers know they aren't dirty or smelly or bad . . . as long as you take care of them, and you don't take care of them with perfumed products.

God. I feel like I rant about this every day, but it drives me absolutely apeshit - I see this stuff every day and it drives me mad that menstruation porn is considered obscene, but Proctor & Gamble are celebrated and given free advertising when they make money by capitalizing on teen ignorance and women's shame, and in the process MAKE THEM PHYSICALLY ILL. Does my menstruation porn give people yeast infections? No. Does my menstruation porn reinforce shame? I certainly hope not, but if it does, I'd say it's a drop in the bucket compared to what Proctor & Gamble has contributed to ill-will towards the pussy. By the way, looking at porn has never killed anyone with toxic shock syndrome either. Can tampon manufacturers say the same thing about their products?

Tampons kill. Porn doesn't. So why am I the bad guy?


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